On the Path to Greatness

Well everything has changed since I wrote Opportunity of a Lifetime. I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest, and with each beat it was saying “the time is now.” This opportunity really resonated with my spirit and I just couldn’t think about anything else.

I decided to take the plunge.. to move outside of my comfort zone, and seize the opportunity, because that’s where real success lies. I embarked upon the opportunity. Since then everything has just being coming together in my life. So much synchronicity. I just have this deepened sense of clarity that I’ve never known before. So many things that happened in my life before this point finally makes sense.

I have an amazing, skilled and accomplished team that will be supporting me along the way. I have mentors that have already accomplished what I plan to achieve. They will show me ropes. I will have access to a proven system that practically guarantees success. Incredible! Once I launch everything I’ll fill you in on what it is.

God is so amazing and his timing is perfect. When I heard about this career path around 20 years ago, the timing was definitely wrong. My friend mentioned to me that I should consider it a few years ago but it seemed unattainable and I thought everything in my life needed to be perfect before I started. I’ve learned that there is never a time when everything in one’s life is perfect.. You just have to work with what you have sometimes.. go with it.

Even though I’m in the beginning stages I have this sense of fulfillment that I’ve never know. The trajectory of my passion and my career have finally intersected.. This is the stuff that destiniess are made of!

Have a blessed weekend!

Emelle Q

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Opportunity of a Lifetime

I’m so torn right now. On the one hand I feel positive, hopeful, joyful, excited. I found the most amazing business opportunity that is the answer to many very specific prayers that I’ve made over my lifetime. On the other hand, I feel a little disappointed because the timing of this opportunity is not right.

My current job, in mental health, is very rewarding. I have an amazing manager who believes in me and is so supportive not to mention hilarious. He encourages me and really listens and tries to understand when I’m having challenges with my mental health. I have an amazing team made up of some really wonderful people that are extremely passionate about helping the clients that we serve. The benefits are good. Vacation is good. We have access to a lot of sick days. I believe in what the agency stands for. The problem.. The team I’m on, the way it’s structured, is very stressful. I feel so drained most of the time and have very little left to give at the end of the day. It’s very difficult to find the energy to work on projects, take a course, start a business, maintain a social life and strengthen relationships with family and friends, with the amount of stress from this position. Some of my married coworkers say they’re so drained at the end of the day that they don’t have the energy to play with their children or engage with their spouses. Maybe that’s ok with them but that’s completely unacceptable for me. The job is slowly, and literally, making me sick and tired. I’ve been battling depression and anxiety for a long time with this position. Initially I referred to it as “burnout” but was later told it’s depression and anxiety.

I learned of an amazing business certification program that not only will teach me a very valuable skill, but it will teach me how to successfully structure my business. Initially I thought the cost of the program would be what would deter me. The more I thought about it I realized that the timing was really the issue. Having my current job, planning a wedding and trying to do this business at the same time is just a recipe for disaster. I’ve tried to take on too much in the past and failed miserably!

So yes a program and certification program so perfectly suited for me is likely one that will only come around once in a lifetime. It encourages many of the values that I find important and hold dear. It will allow me to do the work I’m passionate about.. helping people. It will help build on what I already know. It has a proven track record. It has skilled and successful people that will mentor me. People that have already done what I am striving to achieve. People that can take me by the hand and lead the way. A system that could potentially be the mechanism for change I need to transform my life and lead me to financial and spiritual freedom.

I had to say no for right now because I really need to create more balance in my life.. especially work-life balance. I really need to get a job on a different team that has a different model. One that will foster more independence for me. One that will give me more autonomy and control over my work day. A team where I can have lengthier and more meaningful visits with clients. Where I can really get to know them, build more rapport and get a true sense of who they are and what their needs are.. so I can be more effective in helping them. Seems rather obvious no?

In the meantime what am I going to do to achieve my goals? Everyday I’m going to envision myself living the life I want. I’m very good at visualization.. Have been ever since I was a child. I have 2 vision boards and I will look at them daily. I have written a statement that I will read out loud everyday, twice a day, so that hopefully it will also filter into my subconscious.

Im bound and determined! Once I put my mind to something there’s no stopping me. So my saying no to it right now is not the end of my dream, it’s simply delayed. I’ve learned from another major thing in my life that sometimes a delay in something I really want, can end up so much sweeter in the end. When I mentioned what I would do to achieve my goals I probably should have started with prayer πŸ™‚ God is at the centre of my life but I probably shouldn’t have assumed that you knew I would do that.

Have a wonderful week. Try to make positive change in the world people!

Many blessings,

Emelle Q

No Longer a Stranger to Myself

Well it’s been rough in some ways for the last year. Struggling with anxiety and depression without realizing that’s what it was. I just kept referring to it as “burnout”.. work related stress that I felt I had no control over. This episode was different than the others.

Went on a new medication that worked wonders! That, and I had some people praying for me. I finally recognize myself again! I’d become a stranger to myself. I was negative, had no hope, drained, exhausted, numb. I had a lot of emotional pain but was unable to cry. Even simple tasks took a Herculean effort to complete. I had a significant decrease in my level of focus and concentration. I was just overwhelmed by life.

Thank God I’ve made it to the other side. Everything is temporary. Now I have so much hope! My connection with God is much stronger. I can hear him again. I’m back on my path. I know this, because there is so much synchronicity taking place in my life. I have a burning desire for my life’s purpose. I have renewed confidence, clarity and this sense of peace that I’ve never felt before.. Peace and joy. I am so grateful for my life and everything that God has allowed me to do. I am so incredibly blessed and highly favoured. I’m understanding this on a much deeper level now.

Each day I wake up excited to see what will unfold.. what wisdom I will receive.

Have a wonderful week!

Many Blessings,

Emelle Q

How this Easter has a deeper meaning

This Easter has a much deeper meaning for me this year. I have a much deeper relationship with Jesus now. This is the first time God has been THE central part of my life. After really accepting Him in my life, submitting my heart to Him, making a consistent commitment to talk with and praying to Him daily, read His word, not making any decisions without Him, my life has changed dramatically.

I had trauma issues and PTSD and God completely healed my heart and my mind. No more nightmares, depression, flashbacks or intrusive thoughts/memories. No more anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, hurt, pain, torment, shame, guilt or self-blame. He cleared out all the junk that I had tried so long and hard to get rid of. What 11 years of therapy couldn’t do, God changed in an instant.. with one touch.

Now I feel like I’m living in the freedom that God intended for me. I have this joy in my heart that I never had before. I was happy at times, but never this joy. He has given me some phenomenal experiences and an amazing relationship. He has set up some wonderful opportunities for me this year and I am so grateful, humbled and excited.

So on this days when I really think about the way Jesus suffered so that I could be free!! I just think, he died for me, so I’m choosing to live for Him! Praise God.

He is risen.

Emelle Q

An Interesting Experience in the Psychiatric Ward

During my last 3 week stay in the inpatient mental health ward, I had a very interesting experience.  It was terrifying in the beginning and heart warming by the end.  I was terrified and then I laughed hysterically. And no that wasn’t a part of my mood disorder πŸ™‚

I was walking with my cane at the time, when I came across another patient. A Jamaican woman in her 60s, Miss P.  She was a calm and helpful person from what I’d seen but my cane seemed to trigger her.  I won’t write everything that she said because some of it was foul, but the gist was “move your **** from me! Nuh come back here or I will take your blood**** cane and smash you head in, and splatter your brain pon di blood**** walls.”

I was like what the heck? People usually like me!  I couldn’t understand why this woman had such a strong hatred for me and we’d never met.  I told the staff because I was convinced I would be murdered in my sleep!! I think the staff thought I was paranoid and delusional. They never witnessed the behaviour I described.  They simply said “she’s harmless, she’s never hurt anyone.” Ummmmm that’s not helping me very much.  You could have at least tried to seem concerned.

This kept happening so I would always lower my eyes to the floor so I wouldn’t be making eye contact with her when she started to rant.  I didn’t want her to think I was confronting her.  I would always turn and move in a different direction.  This was very scary for me because I honestly believed she would attack me if she had the chance.

Then one day the same woman, Miss P, came right up to me with a big warm smile on her face apologizing to me for threatening me.  She said she has a daughter who looks like me and has a cane like me.  At the time she was threatening me she believed that I was her daughter and she thought I was there trying to break her out of the “prison” (the psychiatric ward).  She said those things to me because she was trying to scare me (her daughter) away so she wouldn’t  get in trouble for trying to break her mother out of the hospital. She apologized profusely every time she saw me and then we would just laugh! Wow, what a turn of events.

The icing on the cake.  Miss P came to me and said her daughter was there and I had to meet her.  I met her son and daughter and we both basically said “she is real!!”. Like the Christmas M&M’s commercial when the see Santa Clause and realized he is real. Up until then, neither one of us knew if the other existed.  We were about the same height, same age, both had similar hair and both had canes!  We laughed so hard as Miss P said “I told you so” and she was beaming.

Miss P had so much respect from the staff and patients.  She would give me extra desserts and juice.  She would offer to let me go to the front of the line for food.  We built a nice friendship and we had some wonderful conversations.  I was even able to de-escalte a situation between her and the staff which stopped them from calling security on her and forcibly giving her an injection. Even though I was unwell I was easily able to recall my training. She was a mother figure to me during my stay.  Warm, loving, caring and funny.  Just imagine how the relationship began.

Inside of every person with mental illness there is a person in there. They are a person first.  I always make sure I remember that.  That’s why I’ve had so much success working in mental health.  I believe they are the same as me.  Not because my mental illness, but because we are all human.

Peace Love and Understanding,

Emelle Q

Happy New Year

Well it’s the last day of the year! Tomorrow is a time for new beginnings! I’m a fan of starting things on the first of the week, month etc. So being able to put some new things in place (and continue some old things) on the first of the year is big to me.

I’m definitely focussing a lot on positivity this year. Making sure that I keep a positive mindset and that I surround myself with positive, warm, loving, encouraging and supportive people. Making sure I remain positive is key because that affects how I see the world and operate in it. It affects how I experience things and the decisions that I make.

Since the beginning of 2017 I recognized that the first chapter of my life was ending and a new one was beginning. One where I would not be struggling with the same kind of pain as in the past. That has totally proven to be true. I have a new relationship with God and I have never truly put Him at the centre of my life as I am now. That has led to a lot of positive and even miraculous changes in my life. Some of which I will speak more about in the future πŸ™‚

More reading, watching informative videos and soaking up knowledge are some things I want to focus on. Exercising consistently and paying better attention to my diet. One of my goals is to not drink any pop for all of 2018. For those of you who know me, you know that this is an addiction of mine so it will take a lot of determination and focus. Making time each morning (very early each morning!) to have time with God in prayer has definitely proven to be a very positive and powerful thing in my life and I plan to continue doing that. Also just to continue to love and give freely. That is a huge part of who I am, but a part that I’ve often felt I needed to hold back on because of the state of the world.. being taken advantage of etc. Someone told me that in that area we really need to rely on God to direct us.  I will do that.

So I hope whoever is reading this has a wonderful 2018! That you make some positive changes and keep that forward momentum going. That you forgive yourself for the goals you may not have attained in 2017. I hope you have learned some lessons throughout the year. I hope your year is filled with love, hope, faith, happiness, joy, good health and fun. Be kind to one another. Love one another. You never know what load someone else might be carrying and how much a kind word or warm smile might greatly impact them. Smiles cost you nothing.

All the best in 2018!!

Emelle Q πŸ™‚

Hold Hope

I do a lot of things to stay balanced and well. So I place a lot of importance on my inner circle. These are close family members and friends. I believe that friends are the family we choose, so everyone in my inner circle I consider family, even if we are not biologically related. Everyone in my inner circle has proven to be incredibly loyal and they’ve stuck by me through the good and the bad. The highs and the lows. Seeing as I have bipolar disorder, there have definitely been a lot of highs and lows.

One thing that has been amazing and moving from my inner circle, was from 3 very special ladies. My mum (aka my best friend) and her two sisters. I while ago I heard this concept of people holding hope for other people, until hey could hold it themselves. There was a time when I was severely unwell with bipolar disorder. I couldn’t function, was almost non-verbal (which is shocking if you know me), I was unable to work, go to school or do much of anything. I felt horrible about my inability to function and participate in the world. I didn’t think I would ever work, be a contributing member of society, or be independent again. These 3 ladies gave me very consistent messaging to the contrary. Each of them told me repeatedly, in their own way, that I’m not well right now and I’m recovering… But once I’m well I will be successful and there would be no stoping me. I didn’t believe them at the time, but at the same time I respected the fact that they were all very intelligent women and maybe they knew something that I didn’t. Maybe they could see something in me that I couldn’t. They turned out to be absolutely right.

Do you have people in your life that hold hope for you when you can’t hold it yourself? People that believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself? Hold onto those people. I recently held a thank you dinner for those 3 lovely ladies to thank them for all of their love, encouragement and support. They were so very appreciative. So many times we think lovely things about people but we don’t tell them. I’ve been making an effort to tell people how I feel about them.

Hold hope for someone.

Peace & Blessings,

Emelle Q