Next Chapter

Last year I kept saying to myself that the first chapter in my life has ended and the next one is beginning. That the pain and trauma I suffered in the past would no longer have such a strong hold over my life. It turns out that I was completely right!

I finally love myself. That’s a large part of why this new chapter of my life is so different from the last. I remember 20 years ago I acknowledged that I didn’t love myself and I was going to do whatever I needed to do, to change that. It took 20 years!! But I achieved my goal. 11 years of therapy later I’m doing so well. Even with the therapy, I never dreamed I would have seen the level of healing that I have received even if I had had a lifetime of therapy.

In the Summer of 2017 God healed my heart in a very profound way. I don’t know how to explain it other than to say that. He also answered some very important questions I had.

I always asked God why I’d had certain experiences. Why I had to go through certain things. Childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, mental illness and a physical disability. I would ask God, usually out of frustration, why I had to go through all of these things. God revealed many things about that to me that summer. There was so much that I can’t list everything here.. but I will mention some. He told me that the reason that I had to go through those things, is so that I can achieve my purpose. All of those experiences gave me the level of compassion that I need to help and serve God’s people. In me God has planted a seed.. a burning desire in me to help people and this compassion is crucial to my destiny. Those experiences have led me to develop a level of patience and a desire to understand people so that I can help them. I’m really able to relate to people. Even if they haven’t experienced the same kind of pain as me, I can really relate to them. I also believe He also told me I will really be a voice for people who have been through the same things as I have.

In the past I was so closed down and never spoke to anyone about my pain or experiences. I even closed myself off from facing them. Over those 20 years, after I acknowledged that I didn’t love myself, I journaled a lot, wrote poetry and learned to talk about my pain. I learned how to connect with the pain and articulate it. I had a safe place to discuss it with my therapist. Now I feel completely comfortable talking about my life when I do public speaking and it has been transformative for many.

Because I’ve been comfortable talking about it and sharing poetry with people, some people in my life have disclosed to me that they’ve had similar experiences. Some of them had never disclosed it to a single soul. In telling me there was this sense of peace. Like they no longer had to carry this heavy load alone. If I hadn’t done my own healing work, maybe they would have never had that kind of peace.

So, would I want to go through it again? No. But at the same time I wouldn’t change it. All of my experiences, positive and negative, have made me into the compassionate, passionate woman that I am. I feel so driven to help people and I’m finally understanding how my pain and trauma is going to help me do that.

Have a lovely week.

Many blessings,

Emelle Q

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On the Path to Greatness

Well everything has changed since I wrote Opportunity of a Lifetime. I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest, and with each beat it was saying “the time is now.” This opportunity really resonated with my spirit and I just couldn’t think about anything else.

I decided to take the plunge.. to move outside of my comfort zone, and seize the opportunity, because that’s where real success lies. I embarked upon the opportunity. Since then everything has just being coming together in my life. So much synchronicity. I just have this deepened sense of clarity that I’ve never known before. So many things that happened in my life before this point finally makes sense.

I have an amazing, skilled and accomplished team that will be supporting me along the way. I have mentors that have already accomplished what I plan to achieve. They will show me ropes. I will have access to a proven system that practically guarantees success. Incredible! Once I launch everything I’ll fill you in on what it is.

God is so amazing and his timing is perfect. When I heard about this career path around 20 years ago, the timing was definitely wrong. My friend mentioned to me that I should consider it a few years ago but it seemed unattainable and I thought everything in my life needed to be perfect before I started. I’ve learned that there is never a time when everything in one’s life is perfect.. You just have to work with what you have sometimes.. go with it.

Even though I’m in the beginning stages I have this sense of fulfillment that I’ve never know. The trajectory of my passion and my career have finally intersected.. This is the stuff that destiniess are made of!

Have a blessed weekend!

Emelle Q

Opportunity of a Lifetime

I’m so torn right now. On the one hand I feel positive, hopeful, joyful, excited. I found the most amazing business opportunity that is the answer to many very specific prayers that I’ve made over my lifetime. On the other hand, I feel a little disappointed because the timing of this opportunity is not right.

My current job, in mental health, is very rewarding. I have an amazing manager who believes in me and is so supportive not to mention hilarious. He encourages me and really listens and tries to understand when I’m having challenges with my mental health. I have an amazing team made up of some really wonderful people that are extremely passionate about helping the clients that we serve. The benefits are good. Vacation is good. We have access to a lot of sick days. I believe in what the agency stands for. The problem.. The team I’m on, the way it’s structured, is very stressful. I feel so drained most of the time and have very little left to give at the end of the day. It’s very difficult to find the energy to work on projects, take a course, start a business, maintain a social life and strengthen relationships with family and friends, with the amount of stress from this position. Some of my married coworkers say they’re so drained at the end of the day that they don’t have the energy to play with their children or engage with their spouses. Maybe that’s ok with them but that’s completely unacceptable for me. The job is slowly, and literally, making me sick and tired. I’ve been battling depression and anxiety for a long time with this position. Initially I referred to it as “burnout” but was later told it’s depression and anxiety.

I learned of an amazing business certification program that not only will teach me a very valuable skill, but it will teach me how to successfully structure my business. Initially I thought the cost of the program would be what would deter me. The more I thought about it I realized that the timing was really the issue. Having my current job, planning a wedding and trying to do this business at the same time is just a recipe for disaster. I’ve tried to take on too much in the past and failed miserably!

So yes a program and certification program so perfectly suited for me is likely one that will only come around once in a lifetime. It encourages many of the values that I find important and hold dear. It will allow me to do the work I’m passionate about.. helping people. It will help build on what I already know. It has a proven track record. It has skilled and successful people that will mentor me. People that have already done what I am striving to achieve. People that can take me by the hand and lead the way. A system that could potentially be the mechanism for change I need to transform my life and lead me to financial and spiritual freedom.

I had to say no for right now because I really need to create more balance in my life.. especially work-life balance. I really need to get a job on a different team that has a different model. One that will foster more independence for me. One that will give me more autonomy and control over my work day. A team where I can have lengthier and more meaningful visits with clients. Where I can really get to know them, build more rapport and get a true sense of who they are and what their needs are.. so I can be more effective in helping them. Seems rather obvious no?

In the meantime what am I going to do to achieve my goals? Everyday I’m going to envision myself living the life I want. I’m very good at visualization.. Have been ever since I was a child. I have 2 vision boards and I will look at them daily. I have written a statement that I will read out loud everyday, twice a day, so that hopefully it will also filter into my subconscious.

Im bound and determined! Once I put my mind to something there’s no stopping me. So my saying no to it right now is not the end of my dream, it’s simply delayed. I’ve learned from another major thing in my life that sometimes a delay in something I really want, can end up so much sweeter in the end. When I mentioned what I would do to achieve my goals I probably should have started with prayer 🙂 God is at the centre of my life but I probably shouldn’t have assumed that you knew I would do that.

Have a wonderful week. Try to make positive change in the world people!

Many blessings,

Emelle Q